Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Triathlon

                                                                       Well, I did it!

  I swam without drowning,
I biked without falling
and I ran without stopping. 
Those were my three main goals.  haha.  
What an experience this triathlon has been. 
When I decided a few months ago to do this I never would have imagined the journey both physically, mentally and spiritually I was embarking on. 
Ry and Ky became my training partners and it was so amazing to have such great support and motivation.  I really enjoyed doing this together. 
I always thought that I loved running because it is so freeing, that it allows you to run away and relieve stress.  Which it does, but I realized when I run I most certainly am not running "away" from things but rather, I am running TOWARDS them.  When I run I am alone in my own thoughts.  No diapers to change, no owies to kiss, no drama to stop.  Running is my new "me time".  I think and rethink the things that are on my mind.  I found that the days I was negative or dwelt on heart ache, I physically hurt during my runs.  I was more sluggish and in the end didn't really love the work out.  Once I noticed that, I really tried to focus on what I was thinking during my training sessions.  I set new goals in all areas of my life and sometimes I even memorize scripture mastery's or favorite quotes. 

It was amazing!

I suddenly with just having happy positive thoughts had more endurance.
I felt stronger, I ran faster.  I learned a very valuable lesson. 
What we think, what we feel, what we allow to stay in our minds and heart have such a profound effect on us.  Just as our bodies are in constant nourishment, so are our minds and testimonies. 
If I allowed myself to dwell on the negative and the hurt  it was only hurting me. 
But as I, over time choose mercy instead of anger or hurt I in return can be extended mercy for the mistakes I have made. 
I am thankful the Lord makes up the difference. 
He paid the price for me to be made whole.
Each challenge we face teaches us WHO we are able to become. 
I feel like this whole triathlon experience gave me a small glimpse into the person inside of me trying to come out and meet her fullest potential.  Who knew that such an amazing lesson would come just through completing a tri?!?!

As I was running the race there came a point that I felt a bit defeated, completely exhausted.  I really REALLY wanted to just walk.  I knew if I lost my momentum I probably wouldn't be able to get it back.  One of the quotes I had memorized during a previous run popped into my mind, by Jeffery R. Holland.  It had never been quite so literal for me til this point and I of course changed the keep walking with keep running.  ;)
I repeated that in my mind probably a dozen times.  Tears started streaming down my face as I said it over and over in my mind. The amount of love I felt from my Father in Heaven during this was absolutely amazing. 
 The finish line was the most incredible experience. 
I pushed through I did not give up. 
I crossed that finish line with two very special friends who have been right by my side these last few weeks with not only swim and bike training, but literally here for me as I have dealt with all of Aubrey's medical mysteries and tests and other personal struggles.  As the three of us crossed the finished line together I was listening to the Bruno Mars song Count on Me. 
Again the tears just started falling. 
I am sure I was quite the sight with all of the bawling I did, but I just couldn't keep it in. 
 
These are the words... 
If you ever find yourself stuck in the middle of the sea,
I'll sail the world to find you
If you ever find yourself lost in the dark and you can't see,
I'll be the light to guide you

 We find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Woooooooh, Woooooooh
Yeah, Yeah

If you're tossing and you're turning and you just can't fall asleep,
I'll sing a song beside you
And if you ever forget how much you really mean to me,
Everyday I will remind you, ohh

 We find out what we're made of
When we are called to help our friends in need

You can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Wooooooh, Wooooooh
Yeah, Yeah

You'll always have my shoulder when you cry
I'll never let go, never say goodbye

You know you can count on me like 1 2 3
I'll be there
And I know when I need it I can count on you like 4 3 2
And you'll be there
Cause that's what friends are supposed to do, oh yeah

Oohhhh, ohhhhh
You can count on me cause I can count on you
I have always LOVED this song, but it just really hit home and meant the world to me.  Just like my Jeffrey R. Holland quote said, there was happiness and hope ahead.  I found it at the finish line.  In the end I found the truth that I am not alone.  That I am loved.  That I have an incredible support system right here all around me.  I literally prayed to find a ward Family and I am so blessed to be apart of such an amazing one.   These women are amazing.  They inspire me, and most of all they love me and accept me just the way I am.  I feel valued when I am with them and uplifted and strengthened by them.   
As I heard my friends cheering me on at the finish line my heart was so full. 
We need other people. 
We are better together. 
 I am so grateful I choose to do this race. 
It was hard and it was long but the lessons I learned were absolutely worth it.    
Ryan was on a team. 
He swam his portion in 7 minutes!!!!
 His team got 3rd place!!! 
  WAHOO!!!! 
I'm so proud of him.   
 We had to be at the race by 5:30 am.  Originally we had planned to have the kids come watch but when we realized how early it was we decided to have Ryan go get them after his run.
 
Parking was a little harder than we thought and he wasn't able to get out and go get them. 
They were so sweet and understanding.  They had made these cute signs that we hung on the wall when I got home.  My kids are so sweet and thoughtful.  They even had little Bree draw some scribbles.  My heart is full.  I sure am blessed!