My blog is full of great stories of the kids and all of our different family adventures and just life in general. I'm always saying how great they are or what fun we have; and they are great and we do have fun, but hopefully you know that in each day we have moments of sheer frustration!
In the mist of the fun I'm making mistakes all day long in parenting.
I figured since my blog is our family journal that I needed to included the days that aren't so fun and exciting too.
Yesterday was one of those days when I thought I was going to go insane; Little Miss B wouldn't cooperate to say the least. We were 45 minutes late to our playdate, which I probably shouldn't have allowed her to go by the way she was acting but to be completely honest I needed to keep that date just for my own sanity. We finally met up with our friends at the McDonald's playland and there must have been something in the air because our kids who are usually the best of friends were crabby, wild and out of control. Glad it wasn't just my kid, but I thought she'd get a grip once we got there, boy was I wrong. Miss B who has been potty trained for awhile now, peed her pants so we had to leave early. I could not get her to come at first, then I tried to put her shoes on and she threw a fit because she didn't want her clear jelly shoes she wanted the pink flip flops that belonged to some other kid. I told her they don't belong to her and we could not take them, she proceeded to tell me that they can share and that they are her size and they will trade etc....At this point I was easily irritated and so impatient! I finally just had to pick her up and leave with her shoes in my hand.
She cried for daddy the entire ride home. I wanted to cry for daddy too! HA!! He did not answer his phone which further irritated me...I can never get ahold of him when I need him, he did eventually call me back though.
These are the days when I wonder if maybe that's why I have not been able to have another baby. Perhaps. Heavenly Father knows that I am getting too old and I don't have it in me anymore to be a good mom. I certainly hope that's not the case, but I feel like a complete failure like maybe I am the worst, of the worst, of the worst..........of the worst (haha...just something I recently heard, that I can't get out of my mind, actually it was the best of the best, but I unfortunately I'm not that either. HA!!) anyway....that's just what comes to mind. I don't know what to do with my darling daughter. She has always been such an easy going kid, but ever since school has started she has had tantrums and has regressed in potty training and just seems extra hard for me. It feels like the more time and attention I give her the harder she has becomes. I have 8 siblings and I don't remember my mom ever losing her cool. She always held it together. I'm sure she had frustrating days too but I really don't remember her having bad parenting days. Hopefully my kids won't remember my frustrating moments and days as well!
Today was much better. Miss B was still very independent but my boys were home and they helped A LOT!!!
I really do love being a Mom more than anything else in this world. . We prayed so hard to get little B here (well all of our kids for that matter) but she is truly a little miracle and we waited a long time to get her. I am so glad I finally got a girl, and boy is she girlie! Although she was super hard yesterday, I am glad that I was chosen to be her mommy. I am thankful for repentance and the opportunity I have to keep on trying to be a better mom.
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On a more positive note, today while doing his Saturday work Ky-guy was vacuuming the family room when I hear Miss B who was sitting on the couch reading books scream for her brother he turns off the vacuum and says "what B" to which she says in a very motherish tone "Is that REALLY necessary, its too loud for my books"?! She is so hilarious and really does bring so much joy into our home. We all got a good laugh out of it.
